| and all of these moments just might find their way into my dreams tonight... |
[Sep. 10th, 2006|09:25 pm] |
... but i know that they'll be gone when the morning light sings and brings new things
....but tomorrow night you'll see, but they'll be gone too, too many things I have to do
.... its always better when we're together
So, I have started a new life in Allendale, MI. Its so strange how things change so much in one year. I am very thankful to the people who made my past year new, exciting,and challenging. I really grew last year as an individual, and I am looking forward to the future. The summer was pretty stressful. I worked a lot so that I could pay off my first semester. I have to take out a loan for the second semester, but it was a relief that I didn't have to this time.
Landon started high school. I got to pick him up on his first day! It was really exciting. That same day I got to visit Ryan in his new apartment. He moved out, and the house was pretty empty since I am gone too. My parents will be married for almost 25 years. Woohoo! It seems like my family is in the middle of new beginnings, and its really exciting.
I really like my apartment. I like my roommates. I like Allendale. I like downtown Grand Rapids. I like my freedom (even though its limited without a car). I like making dinner. I like doing my dishes (weird, i know). I like reading. I like studying (usually). I like having a place to call my own. I like the church I have been attending. Its strange though....
With all of these things I like/love, there are still things I miss/need/want. These are not selfish things, although there are probably things I want that are selfish (aka, an ipod).
I miss/want a group of friends that are my own. I can't even remember the last time that I specifically had "that group" that called me whenever they were doing something. A group that can't imagine a friday or saturday night without hanging out with me. I have a lot of friends I hang out with that I love to death, don't get me wrong, but I haven't really had "that group" since high school. I really miss that. That doesn't mean that I want to be back in high school or anything. I loved it, but I have moved on. I guess I just feel sort of disconnected.
I also miss Dan. Its so hard being away from him. Summer seemed so surreal being able to just drive over to eachother's houses to hang out. Now its such a big ordeal to even look at eachother. We have to get rides from Central to GVSU and vice versa. It does make the times we spend together more special, but it definitely takes a toll on me emotionally.
I miss my family, but I am okay with it. I am enjoying being on my own and allowing them to see who I am as a young woman with a solid head on her shoulders.
Sometimes I just feel like I am not myself. I used to be so "peppy" all the time, and I know a lot of that just wore off with maturing, but I sometimes just feel like a blank canvas. No emotion. Not depressed, but not extremely happy either, just... blank. Anybody else feel like that sometimes? I think I need to just find my place here and really put my heart into something. Like, I really miss singing/playing piano. I need to do that more.
Sorry if this seems like a "blah" post. Believe me, I really love my life and am not depressed whatsoever. I just had some things on my mind, thats all.
xoxo everybody! I will be updating again in the near future! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|12:27 pm] |
|
I went to the Dave Matthews Band concert last night. All I can say is... WOW. Seriously, I want it to be last night again. It was incredible. We had 19th row and I could see soooooo well. He was like 30 feet away. Incredible. |
|
|
| post birthday |
[Apr. 11th, 2006|01:02 pm] |
Okay, so yesterday was one of my best birthdays ever. I was thinking that it was going to be weird since I was away from home. HOWEVER, let me tell you about my day:
First, I woke up and my roomate had a cute hat on my desk for me with a cute card
Then, i went to the post office and I had 2 packages! One was from my mom (birthday pajama pants from Old Navy), and one was from DAN! Awwww, i like him. He put a cd in there with pictures and songs, and a "gift certificate" to go sun glass shopping, and some other cute stuff that he would be embarassed that I say ;)
After that I went to lunch, and my friend Merilee had 2 pretty yellow flowers for me and all my friends made me a birthday dessert: a waffle with chocolate chips/sprinkles baked inside with ice cream, sprinkles, and a bunch more stuff on top. They all sang to me and it was fun :)
Then I went to class, and on the way home from class i had a big suprise!!!! MY FAMILY (mom, dad, brother, papa, granny, and aunt) WAS WAITING IN MY ROOM FOR ME!!!! They had balloons and stuff and I was so happy. Then we all went to the mall and my papa gave me, kate, and shannon "allowances". We shopped for a while and then all met up at California Pizza Kitchen. I got some presents, ate good pizza, hung out with friends and family. It was perfect.
THEN, when my family left I walked into my room and a bunch of my friends here had a birthday cake for me! I was suprised again. I have never had suprises like that before. I was so happy.
Later than night, Kate and I went tanning, and then I talked to Dan on the phone and tried on my new clothes. I can't wait to go shopping with Dan and Emily this weekend with birthday money.
Thank you to all my friends who called, posted on facebook, or just said happy birthday to me yesterday! I had an awesome day.
I feel so special.... thank you!!!!!
Me one year ago on my b-day (2005):
Me this year on my birthday after trying on a shirt to send Dan, not that good of a pic, but oh well (2006):
 |
|
|
| Don't even know what to say... |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|03:50 pm] |
It's hard to think that your life can be changed forever in one day. A girl from my school was just diagnosed with leukemia. I don't know a lot of the details yet, but man.... We were aquaintence type friends. A lot of my friends were close to her, and we talked and said hi whenever we saw eachother. She is beautiful- the blondest hair I have ever seen (never even dyed), huge smile. She is a freshman on the Varsity volleyball team. She has been with her boyfriend since she was a freshman in high school, and she just has so much going for her. She got sick, and they just thought it was a relapse of her mono, but they found out yesterday what it really was. Her life will never be the same. I cannot even imagine. It really just humbles me to think about how this can happen to anyone- even me. Like, the reasons that God would allow this to happen to somebody so amazing is beyond me. I will never understand, but I know that He has a plan. A girl in the freshman class here died on her way home for Christmas Break. Her family member's lives will never be the same. Nothing like this has ever happened in my life. I wonder how strong I would be if it ever did.......
Sorry this is such a depressing entry. I just have a lot on my mind.
Please keep Cari in your prayers. Pray for her to have strength in the Lord.
Psalm 18:30-36
30 As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.
31 For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?
32 It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.
34 He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
35 You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.
36 You broaden the path beneath me,
so that my ankles do not turn. |
|
|
| Life |
[Mar. 19th, 2006|11:43 pm] |
|
I am ready to move..... |
|
|
| HAPPY BIRTHDAY LANDON! |
[Feb. 21st, 2006|01:08 pm] |
Yep, its Landon's Birthday, which means I have been a big sister for 14 years. I used to want him to be a girl, but I am happy that he isn't now. First of all, we were going to name him Kori if he was a girl, and no offense if your name is Kori, but I am no longer a fan of that name AT ALL. Landon is such a cute name. Also, if he was a girl I would lose my priveleges of being the only girl in the family.
I am so proud of my little brother. I always am bragging on him, and this is because he pretty much is just awesome (when we aren't arguing over the stupidest stuff. haha). He runs track and cross country, plays basketball, break and hip hop dances, can sing, can act, can edit and make movies on the computer, dresses cute for the most part (thanks to his wonderful older sister), can carry on an intelligent conversation, isn't shy, always is the life of the party, is polite (for the most part), is loving and kind, loves the Pistons and actually knows a lot about them, and a ton more. Yeah, I am jealous of some of his amazing skills, haha. But seriously, he is a wonderful little brother and I hope he has the greatest day ever! He gets to go to the Pistons game tonight and has pretty close tickets. I think he is going to get to slap the Piston's hands when they come out of the locker room. Yeah, I am excited for him! I LOVE YOU LANDON!
 |
|
|
| :( |
[Feb. 6th, 2006|07:31 pm] |
I miss you right now
I miss my bed
I miss not worrying about stuff
I miss just sitting with nothing to do
I miss you, i miss you, i miss you |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
kelleybucket's journal
